Is there a perfect book for book club?

I promise, I've been reading this summer, even if the blog posts do not reflect this. As I've been reading for fun and for book club, I was wondering - is there such thing as a perfect book for book club?

Currently, I am reading "Cleopatra: A Life" by Stacy Schiff for one book club. It seemed like a good choice: getting to the historical fact of one of the richest and most intriguing females of all time. It has been on the best seller lists for a bit, and there is talk of a movie being made based on it. We should all love it and find it hard to put it down, right? In all honesty, it has taken me the longest time to read compared to anything else this year. My method was to read a chapter or two, pick up another book for fun, and return to it for another chapter or two. Some of the other book club members put it down and moved on to something else. I think the main reason is that it is written more as a history text, and less as a novel. It is not a quick read.

Nonetheless, I enjoyed the book immensely as it separated out probable falsehood from what may be closer to the truth. Schiff uses the premise of how history is written by the winners, and so much of what has been said about Cleopatra via the Roman writings should be taken with a grain of salt. Her Cleopatra is a cunning politician, who relied much more on her brains than beauty to rule one of the richest empires in an Egyptian society that was ahead of its time in gender equality.

So we had a good recipe for a book club book with "Cleopatra: A Life", yet not everyone in the group was a fan. With this, I have good reason to believe we will have a spirited discussion while enjoying some great Mediterranean food. I doubt there is the "perfect" book club out there, especially if your club has more than one person. So what makes a great book club selection? Does everyone have to love it and gush about it? If one person doesn't like it or doesn't finish it, does that ruin the selection? From two formal and one informal book club, here are my musings on what makes a great book club book:

- Let everyone have a say in the book selection. Whether it is rotating by person, or creating a list in advance, it will keep your group on target. I appreciate the fact that in the Riverview Bookclub, we have the opportunity to have a say in each choice.

- Avoid things on Oprah's book club list. I don't have a great reason for this, and nothing against Oprah. But if you avoid things on best sellers lists, you won't have to be on a huge waiting list for a copy at the library. If you plan to borrow from the library, also avoid things being made into movies.

- Have a healthy dose of respect for the person choosing the book. If it is a book no-one has read, the group is going out on a limb. I haven't seen any finger pointing or blame in my book clubs, and I think that helps keep the groups running smoothly.

- Consider something relevant to the interests of the groups. Our Riverview Bookclub tends have a focus on books with women as main characters. Its been anywhere from Lizzy Bennett, to Alice in Wonderland, to Laila in Kabul.

With that said, does anyone disagree and is there really the perfect book club book out there?

The Help

“Sensational Bestseller” is what I found on the Internet that describes the book The Help by Kathryn Stockett. I don’t tend to appreciate hype given to books, especially one that so obviously would have ended up on Oprah’s Book Club (oh wait), but I’ve heard from two promiscuous readers whose taste I trust that this one is worth it, and it was.

The Help addresses race relations in 1960s in Jackson, Mississippi with particular attention paid to the unique relationship of white women and the African-American women they hire as domestic help. These women raise white children, clean homes, and are subjected to daily microaggressions (and oftentimes macroaggressions) and indignities, most notably in having to use a separate toilet. Recall, this is when Jim Crow was reigning supreme and “separate but equal” was accepted as appropriate.

The story is centered on the experiences of three women in particular: Aibileen is an African-American domestic housekeeper for a beta-level socialite, Minny is an African-American domestic housekeeper who regularly is fired for mouthing off to her employers, and Skeeter is a Caucasian-American college graduate with the drive to make things happen. The story is written by a Caucasian-American woman whose family employed African-American domestic housekeeper when she was a child. This seemed on the one hand bold that she would expose a shameful part of her culture but also risky that 2/3 of the book was written from the perspective of the help. I’m not in any position to know if she did this with grace and humility as I am not African-American, didn’t grow up in the time period, and have never been employed as full-time domestic help.

As this is, primarily, a book review, I should add that I’m not sure this book was particularly well written. I got so frustrated at times that I began to keep a list in the back. More notably:

1. Why did the author introduce the central conflict on page ten in the first chapter? This is way too soon. I wish she had given the story a bit of time to unfold.

2. Further, I don’t understand how on Earth Skeeter was ever friends with Hilly and Elizabeth and who in God’s name is this Hilly woman? She is absolutely awful and I’m in no position to know this, but were people really that awful? Maybe they were and I am being consciously naïve about race relations in the South in the 1960s, but Hilly doesn’t seem like a real person to me, no one is that horrid. This might be my problem.

3. Also, I never really understood why Skeeter cared. What event or experience raised her awareness to this blatant violation of human rights? I never really caught on to that.

4. And I am so petty, I’m sorry, but using the phrase “She is the child now and I am the mother” just seemed like such a cliché. There had to be a better way to illuminate the gravity of that situation.

However, the themes addressed are profound and heartbreaking and the story is very good. I would highly recommend reading it and I am looking forward to Viola Davis’ performance as Aibileen in the movie coming out in August. It looks like it will be a very emotional film and my hope is that it will spur conversations about our shared history in the United States and what micro— (and macro—) aggressions look like today.

Prodigal Summer

I’ve written about how much I love Barbara Kingsolver’s books before, and my promiscuity really knows no bounds when it comes to her books. She is one of a few authors whose work I will pick up and read not really even caring what the book is about. The grace and mysticism with which she writes about human relationships is just too good to pass up.

Prodigal Summer tells three stories that don’t necessarily overlap other than taking place in the same county during the same sultry summer. There are Deanna and Eddie who collide despite their polarizing differences; Lusa whose world collapses and who finds herself facing choices she didn’t know she was prepared to tackle; and Garnet and Nannie, elders who go to lengths to work at odds even as they try to preserve the same land. Kingsolver is able to intertwine the stories in a way that makes them feel relevant to one another and not at all choppy or out-of-place. They are full of heartbreak, humor, lessons in biology and conservation, and the underlying truth that everyone has needs and those needs are oftentimes much more similar than we realize.

Prodigal Summer is alive with life and brought two things to my attention that I previously hadn’t noticed:

1. There are no antagonists in Kingsolver’s stories. There are people who antagonize one another, but there is no single character or group who plays the “bad guy” or wicked stepmother. I really appreciate this as in life there are no evil characters, just folks who, through their own needs, are antagonistic. We are all humans, we all have needs, and sometimes we step on one another in an effort to fulfill those needs.

2. In Kingsolver’s writing, the setting is a character in the story alongside the human players. The mountain comes alive as the coyotes return, bringing Eddie and Deanna together. Lusa comes out of the ash of her life and into gardens that refuse to stop producing. And Garnet and Nannie bicker over how to tame the wild land they farm as it grows out of control. This overabundance coupled with some intensely beautiful human intimacy lends undertones of reproduction and sweaty connection to the stories that give them a very organic feel, like the whole thing is happening in a hothouse.

This was a great book to read in July, particularly during the hot hot heat that we’ve had recently in Minnesota. Prodigal Summer takes place in southern Appalachia, a part of the country I know nothing about, but it sounded eerily familiar. Minnesota is known for, if nothing else, the diversity of weather we get and the book could have just as easily taken place here. There is going to come a time when I will need to read Kingsolver’s catalogue a second time and I’ll be sure to read this one in the summer, it just doesn’t belong anywhere else.

Why yoga is like reading

Stay with me on this one. As I branched out with a different yoga opportunity today, I started comparing how two of my favorite hobbies are related, other than comfy clothes being involved. I've been reading since before kindergarten, but have only practiced yoga for the last year and a half. Why do I crave both of these activities? With how busy life can get, why do I always feel so much better after reading or practicing? Here is my countdown of how these activities are similar, with a focus on their benefits.

5) You get to branch out and try new things

Books: When you discover a new book series, you can rest assured that you won't have to search out new reading material until close to the series end. This is comforting until the "to read" pile starts to dwindle. Then what? How do you move on? It is time for something new. You are forced to head to the library, the bookstore or to new recommendations from friends for fresh ideas.

Yoga: With the right instructor, a yogi will always be challenged with new and more advanced poses. One of the first ones for me to conquer was Tree Pose, or Vrksasana. It literally forces you to "branch out" with your arms as you move on in difficulty with this pose. The instructor will offer words of encouragement, much like a friend with a great book recommendation, "grow your branches, move out of your comfort zone."

4) Improve upon your abilities

Books: Have you ever gone back to read a childhood or adolescent-hood favorite? Was it as exciting later on in life? With a few of my favorites of younger days, I've been disappointed or bored re-reading them as an adult. Now I think hard about re-reading books because my tastes have changed and my ability to tackle tougher books has improved. And anyhow, there are so many good books that I haven't read!

Yoga: After the first few yoga sessions, you start to listen to the instructor and move into poses without looking up or thinking too hard about the posture. I have a beginners DVD that I can proudly say is "too easy" for me. I have moved on from supporting my Side Plank Pose, or Vasisthasana, to being able to prop myself up on two feet.

3) Mental benefits

Books: This one is obvious for books. From continuous reading we learn new vocabulary, learn about new cultures in non-fiction, discover entirely new worlds in fiction. Then we take lessons from these sources to apply in every day life.

Yoga: There's no doubt about it, you can get a great physical workout from yoga. For me, the mental benefits are even more significant. The instructor is always gently or enthusiastically encouraging you one to higher levels. I swear their motto in school must be "you won't know if it's possible unless you try." So today I tried Wild Thing Pose, or Camatkarasana. There's nothing like challenging yourself mentally to move into one of these contortions with an audience of other yoginis around you. Maybe one day I will be able to move from Three Legged Dog with a Yogi Toe hold into Side Plank Pose. Until then, the calming breathing techniques will carry me through stressful situation with more calm and poise.

2) There are favorites that you can return to time and again

Books: A great book can be counted to to deliver a fantastic story again and again. You grow to care for the characters even more. There is comfort to know what is going to happen, and you may discover things you did not see in a previous reading. Even a familiar author can offer the promise of more great books to come.

Yoga: In yoga there is also comfort in returning to a familiar pose after trying something new and challenging. Say your calf cramps up in the middle of Scorpion pose, you can move on into Cow Face Pose, or Gomukhasana, for a calming stretch of the arms and legs. Nothing lasts forever, yet it is worth finding a few favorite instructors that you know will be an inspiration in your practice.

1) They clear your mind

The number one reason that I enjoy books and yoga SO much is that they can completely clear my mind of all other worries, to-do items and anxieties. For years I have read before falling asleep to ease that transition. Now I use yoga in a similar way to wake up in the morning and prepare for the day, as well as at the end of the week to transition from work to the weekend. And no matter who the instructor is, I can rest assured that the practice will include Corpse Pose, or Savasana to end the practice.

After reading this, do you want to give yoga a try? From the comfort of your own home, you can view the Yoga Journal 21-Day Challenge to see how you like it.

The Wind in the Willows

In June I stopped by Midway Used and Rare Books on University and Snelling amidst all the light rail construction (which really is a mess right now). I wanted to find a lovely used copy of The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame and I found exactly what I was looking for. The Wind in the Willows was originally published in 1908 and the copy I picked up was published in 1960, so quite a few decades later. However, this copy can hardly have been read since it was published. It is in perfect condition, has the original dust jacket, and a lovely dedication handwritten on the title page:

Peter & Betty

May your friendship together be as strong as say, Rat's with Badger.

Much Love,

The Harts

Sunday April 17

Which Sunday, April 17 between 1960 and now is left to the imagination. Another appealing aspect of this particular copy is that the illustrations were all done by Ernest H. Shepard of the original “Winnie-the-Pooh” illustrations. And some are in color. Bonus!

So I followed the “Harry Potter” series with The Wind in the Willows and, actually, it was a bad choice in the end. It’s hard to go from the spectacular magic and drama of “Harry Potter” into ambling stories about Mole, the Water Rat, and Mr. Toad’s instabilities. It just wasn’t that interesting and there were no female characters which I let irritate me.

However, the descriptions of the scenery were just beautiful, and I especially enjoyed the “Wayfarers All” chapter. Also “Dulce Domum” would be a nice read at Christmastime. I recommend the book, but it should be read when you’re in a quiet place and don’t need to be impressed by a lot of action, maybe up at the cabin or (better yet) on the banks of a river in summertime. Also, though it is a child’s book, parents should be aware that apparently “ass” wasn’t a curse word in the early twentieth century, as it is used a couple times in the book and not in reference to a donkey but similarly to the way we might use the word “idiot” which also isn’t a particularly nice thing to say.

One thing that I found fun was that reading The Wind in the Willows made me want to go back and read all the Beatrix Potter books because the characteristics that Grahame inhibits his animals with seem similar to the ways Benjamin Bunny, Jeremy Fisher, and Jemima Puddleduck wore clothes, kept houses, and interacted with perfect diction and English grammar. Potter’s works were published in 1902-1930 so I can’t imagine they weren’t aware of one another and the work other was doing. I can appreciate any text that makes me feel encouraged to explore another topic or author.

Harry Potter

I am an unabashedly enthusiastic Harry Potter fan. In May I decided to read the series for a third time in anticipation of the final film, coming out July 15^th. I figured I should give myself seven weeks to complete the task: one week for each book, knowing some I would finish sooner and others would take a bit more time. I underestimated myself though, and finished the seventh book a mere 29 days after having begun the first. This is a pretty clear indication of their engrossing nature.

I did not jump on the Harry Potter bandwagon right away. I am wary of bandwagons in general and tend to reject anything associated with a particular following to avoid unwanted judgment. However, there comes a point when one has avoided something long enough. I gradually came to the understanding that anything with a bandwagon and groupies must be at least somewhat entertaining if it has so many dedicated followers. I decided to give these movements a try before I get the reputation for being a trend-aversive hater.

Thus began the love affair. I can’t imagine why anyone would reject the opportunity to fall into a deep state of joyful glee when faced with books about a fantastic world of wizards, witches, centaurs, elves, and mail delivered by snowy owls. This is a place full of people just like us who experience the same emotions and challenges, but exist in a world where gardens have to be de-gnomed, dishes will do themselves with enough coaxing, goblins run the economy, sports are played on brooms…in the air, and when you turn eleven, you go to Ollivander’s to get your first wand.

What further compels me to go back and re-read the stories are their universal age-appeal. While they are written at progressively higher levels (an eleven-year-old who begins the series may get quite bored as the themes intensify and the characters progress through adolescence), each age group will find something to appreciate. Older children will enjoy the first couple books, as the themes are serious but not overwhelming. However, as the story progresses, the themes intensify and it becomes clear that childhood has been left behind. How often can a young person grow up with a set of classmates in a book from age 10 through high school? I’m so excited to read the series again with nieces, nephews, and my own children. Think of the new perspectives! The renewed delight!

Furthermore, the virtues of loyalty, deep love, and honoring the value in all creatures that the series is built around are universally appreciated. The moral of the broader story is that with enough courage, love can best evil. This is a tall order; I’ve seen love fail. But if we compel ourselves to focus our energies on respecting the value in all things, then I imagine many troubles could be remedied without anger, hurtful words, or unpardonable shaming.

If you haven’t given the books a try, please give yourself the opportunity. Don’t reject fantasy outright and don’t hate on people who find pleasure in something as innocent and positive as a set of lovely books. Get over your fear of nonsense and understand that there is so much about our lives on this planet that already doesn’t make sense. Miscarriage, for instance, doesn’t make sense. Just because we’re used to it doesn’t mean it is logical. Magic, therefore, isn’t so absurd: even before I read the books, I longed for an accio charm to telekinetically summon things to me; in my laziness it just made sense.

Harry Potter haters can file their emotions under “Unappreciative Cynic,” “Imagination Deficiency,” or “Bezoar-Hearted Nincompoop.” This is one bandwagon worth joining.

Why friends help strengthen a marriage

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702304490004576422323560214658.html?mod=googlenews_wsj

Three and a half million words later...

Last night I finished book 10 of 10 in the Malazan Book of the Fallen series. Have you ever had a friend recommend a great book, only to learn that it is part of a larger series? It's nice to be hooked on a series, but I didn't realize the three year ride I was in for with this one. It is best described as an epic science fiction/fantasy series spun out of a role playing game.

Three years ago, I started "Gardens of the Moon." It was a paperback, and only a few hundred pages. Not too intimidating. The first five books each focus on a single conflict that is resolved by the end of the book. In the last five, the story is leading up to a final conflict in book 10 "The Crippled God". The author also increases the length of the books to roughly 1000 pages each. I read the first seven one right after another. The next three were published one year at a time. If I were to read these again, it would be all 10 in a row to keep up with the most complex plot and set of characters I've ever seen in a book series. Take a look at this list of Dramatis Personae to see what I mean.

It wasn't part of an official book club, but I read the first seven books at the same time as two friends. This kept me on my toes since they had read it previously and would quiz me on things from the books. One of my main questions throughout was why the author called the series "A Tale of the Malazan Book of the Fallen." The Malazan army is one of the main sets of characters, but not the only one of importance. Finally, in book 10 I found a passage with an explanation. "In that Malazan Book of the Fallen, the historians will write of our suffering, and they will speak of it as the suffering of those who served the Crippled God. As something...fitting. And for our seeming fanaticism they will dismiss all that we were, and thing only of what we achieved. Or failed to achieve. And in so doing, they will miss the whole point." Later on in the book, the Adjunct (leader) of the army talks about being "unwitnessed." Her point was that for the most part, individuals of an army aren't called out in the history books, just the final win or loss outcome. In this series, we see the detailed lives of many soldiers and citizens during their military conflicts.

The overall tone of the series is very serious, and can be a downer with so much of the focus on war and death. However, the author let's his sense of humor through in several ways. One way is in the character names and how they reflect the nature of the character. Here are a few of my favorites:

• Lady Envy and her sister Lady Spite
• Mudslinger
• Sweetest Sufferance
• Rumjugs and Sweetlard
• Vastly Blank

As the last point I want to make, the author is very descriptive and I learned a few new words along the way. Here are several that kept coming up during the series:

• Gelid - very cold, icy.
• Lambent - glowing, gleaming, flickering. As in "the lambent eyes of the tiger god of war"
• Hoary - gray or white as with old age. One of the favorite curses in the book was "Hood's hoary balls." Hood was the god of death.

Go the F*ck to Sleep

A fun bedtime story for parents

The joys of garage sales

One of the best parts of summer is garage sales. It's like a treasure hunt for books! A city wide garage sale took place in my neighborhood last week. Here's a snapshot of my finds:

• The "501 Cocktail" book is for a friend.
• The "Poisonwood Bible" comes highly recommended from Angela. I enjoyed "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle" by the same author, so it will be great to read more of her work.
• The soup book will come in handy as the farmer's markets kick off this summer.
• "Eats, Shoots and Leaves" will be useful at work as we review training and technical content for grammar.
• The Garage Sale and Flea Market handbook is for my mom. Turns out she has a cookie jar worth $200 - $275!
• The Cupcake book is for myself, and has already yielded this fun treat: