Three and a half million words later...

Last night I finished book 10 of 10 in the Malazan Book of the Fallen series. Have you ever had a friend recommend a great book, only to learn that it is part of a larger series? It's nice to be hooked on a series, but I didn't realize the three year ride I was in for with this one. It is best described as an epic science fiction/fantasy series spun out of a role playing game.

Three years ago, I started "Gardens of the Moon." It was a paperback, and only a few hundred pages. Not too intimidating. The first five books each focus on a single conflict that is resolved by the end of the book. In the last five, the story is leading up to a final conflict in book 10 "The Crippled God". The author also increases the length of the books to roughly 1000 pages each. I read the first seven one right after another. The next three were published one year at a time. If I were to read these again, it would be all 10 in a row to keep up with the most complex plot and set of characters I've ever seen in a book series. Take a look at this list of Dramatis Personae to see what I mean.

It wasn't part of an official book club, but I read the first seven books at the same time as two friends. This kept me on my toes since they had read it previously and would quiz me on things from the books. One of my main questions throughout was why the author called the series "A Tale of the Malazan Book of the Fallen." The Malazan army is one of the main sets of characters, but not the only one of importance. Finally, in book 10 I found a passage with an explanation. "In that Malazan Book of the Fallen, the historians will write of our suffering, and they will speak of it as the suffering of those who served the Crippled God. As something...fitting. And for our seeming fanaticism they will dismiss all that we were, and thing only of what we achieved. Or failed to achieve. And in so doing, they will miss the whole point." Later on in the book, the Adjunct (leader) of the army talks about being "unwitnessed." Her point was that for the most part, individuals of an army aren't called out in the history books, just the final win or loss outcome. In this series, we see the detailed lives of many soldiers and citizens during their military conflicts.

The overall tone of the series is very serious, and can be a downer with so much of the focus on war and death. However, the author let's his sense of humor through in several ways. One way is in the character names and how they reflect the nature of the character. Here are a few of my favorites:

• Lady Envy and her sister Lady Spite
• Mudslinger
• Sweetest Sufferance
• Rumjugs and Sweetlard
• Vastly Blank

As the last point I want to make, the author is very descriptive and I learned a few new words along the way. Here are several that kept coming up during the series:

• Gelid - very cold, icy.
• Lambent - glowing, gleaming, flickering. As in "the lambent eyes of the tiger god of war"
• Hoary - gray or white as with old age. One of the favorite curses in the book was "Hood's hoary balls." Hood was the god of death.

Go the F*ck to Sleep

A fun bedtime story for parents

The joys of garage sales

One of the best parts of summer is garage sales. It's like a treasure hunt for books! A city wide garage sale took place in my neighborhood last week. Here's a snapshot of my finds:

• The "501 Cocktail" book is for a friend.
• The "Poisonwood Bible" comes highly recommended from Angela. I enjoyed "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle" by the same author, so it will be great to read more of her work.
• The soup book will come in handy as the farmer's markets kick off this summer.
• "Eats, Shoots and Leaves" will be useful at work as we review training and technical content for grammar.
• The Garage Sale and Flea Market handbook is for my mom. Turns out she has a cookie jar worth $200 - $275!
• The Cupcake book is for myself, and has already yielded this fun treat:

What's your zombie plan?

Do you have a zombie plan? Do you need one? Look no further than this post for some fresh ideas. In honor of our book club's one year anniversary, we chose to read Pride & Prejudice & Zombies (PPZ for short for the rest of this post; thanks Linz). The plot is still based on Jane Austen's original, with the twist of a strange plague that grips England and spawns the unmentionables (aka zombies). The Bennett sisters have now been trained in the deadly arts. Our first book was Pride & Prejudice, so why not?

Here are my favorite passages from PPZ, including one of the several illustrations. Be sure to take notes for your zombie plan :)

"Elizabeth accepted their company, and they set off together, armed only with their ankle daggers. Muskets and Katana swords were a more effective means of protecting one's self, but they were considered unladylike; and, having no saddle in which to conceal them, the three sisters yielded to modesty." p 27

In regards to a marriage proposal from Mr. Collins, Lizzy sets out to be clear in her refusal: "You forget, sir, that I am a student of Shaolin! Master of the seven-starred fist! I am perfectly serious in my refusal. You could not make me happy and I am convinced that I am the last woman in the world how could make you so. Nay, were your friend Lady Catherine to know me, I am persuaded she would find me in every respect ill qualified for the situation, for I am a warrior, sir, and shall be until my last breath is offered to God." p86.

Later in the book, Lizzy is preparing to leave Rosings, and Lady Catherine insists on an escort: "You must send one of my ninjas with them. You know I always speak my mind, and I cannot bear the idea of two young women travelling by themselves. Young women should always be properly guarded and attended, unless they are that rare sort of lady, like myself, who has been trained by the most respected masters in Japan - not by those appalling Chinese peasants." p168

Lizzy and Mr. Darcy still overcome their pride and prejudice and find love. The following passage and illustration describe the scene. "As they made for the house, Elizabeth and Darcy happened upon a herd of unmentionables which had quartered itself in a garden not ten yards from the road. The creatures were biting into ripe heads of cauliflower, which they had mistaken for stray brains. Elizabeth and Darcy laughed at the sight, and for a moment, resolved to keep walking - as the zombies had failed to take notice of them. But, sharing a glance and a smile, the pair realized they had stumbled onto their first opportunity to fight side by side. And so they did." p 302



Perhaps my favorite line is when Lizzy explains to Jane when she first fell in love with Darcy. The new Lizzy seems a little more human to me. "It has been coming on so gradually, that I hardly know when it began. But I believe I must date it from my first seeing the way his trousers clung to those most English parts." p 305


If Pride and Prejudice and Zombies didn't give you enough ideas for your zombie plan, rest assured, here are some more resources:

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has an extensive list.

In addition to a list for zombie planning, they give ideas for more common disaster preparedness plans. Sorry, the safety and health professional in me couldn't resist giving some common sense tips.

One other resource for zombie planning comes from the Rooster Teeth clan. This group takes live game play from the Halo video game and makes cartoons. In one episode, the Red and Blue teams are at another round of capture the flag and zombie planning is part of the theme. It's only 3 minutes long, but worth the time for more priceless zombie planning tips.

Portland Oregon's Local Bookstore: Powell's

I recently spent several days in Portland, Oregon for a work conference. I had the opportunity to explore the downtown area between classes and activities.

The lobby of the Hotel Monaco where I stayed had a lovely seating area where I was able to spend time reading the local newspaper and getting ready for the day. The area reminded me of the inside of Jeannie's bottle in "I Dream of Jeannie."


Hotel Monaco lobby

I had two sightseeing goals while visiting Portland. The first was to visit Powell's bookstore. Powell's City of Books is the largest of its kind in the world. The original store is around 68,000 square feet. It takes up several adjacent buildings in downtown Portland. I spent a few hours getting lost in the nine color-coded rooms, which contained 3,500 sections of books.




My second goal was to visit Voodoo Donuts. This really has nothing to do with reading, but who could pass up a Triple Chocolate Penetration donut? It was well worth the one hour walk and one must have goals in life.

The Bible in 90 Days

My pastor is doing a Bible challenge this summer: 12 pages a day for 90 days. He is going to use his blog to process and share his experience. I think, whether one is religious or not, it would be a neat thing to do: to explore the culture, history, and spiritual significance this one set of books carries for so many people globally.

I think I'll try to squeeze it in between my Harry Potter Challenge: 7 books in 45 days in anticipation of the last film. That's not a conflict of interest when one studies the Bible is it?